4 Big Communication Mistakes And How To Avoid Them
Effective communication costs very little and the results can transform both you and your relationships. Communication is at the top of the list of what couples feel they need.
In today’s post, I am going to share the worst communication mistakes behind some of the biggest problems couples encounter. By learning to avoid them, you will save time and emotional negativity, your connection will increase, and you will have better intimacy too.
There are many factors that can sabotage effective communication. Today we will examine the 4 main culprits:
COMMUNICATION MISTAKE 1: UNCLEAR MESSAGE
This is probably the most common and costly mistake. Two things support clear communications:
The way we think, which affects the clarity of our ideas.
The way we talk, which affects the clarity of our expression.
You need to pay attention to your thoughts before opening your mouth. Start with organizing your thoughts around the result you want. What do you want your message to accomplish?
For example, you might want to influence your partner into helping more around the house or about having a date night. Whatever it is, it must be crystal clear to you first. You can then organize your thoughts in a logical sequence that will take you to that destination.
When you talk, don’t "beat around the bush." Share your complete idea using simple and direct words. Make sure your words connect with the person you are talking to.
Reduce the number of words you use to improve the clarity of meaning. Don’t leave a thought half finished with an ending like: “you know. . .” or “you can imagine. . .” Slowing down will also permit you to use more expression and emphasis, further clarifying your message.
COMMUNICATION MISTAKE 2: NOT LISTENING
Not listening competes with unclear messages for first place on the list of costly mistakes. Many people listen only to their own voices. The result is a badly informed person, ill-prepared to deal with issues that later can become huge problems.
Don’t interrupt your partner, thinking you will “save” time. You really don’t “know” what the other person is going to say. You will avoid many misunderstandings if you take the time to listen.
Listening is more than hearing the words the other person is saying. It requires a desire to understand another human being. Develop an attitude of respect and acceptance. Be willing to open your mind to try and see things from the other person’s eyes.
Listening requires a high level of concentration and energy. You need to set aside your own thoughts and agendas. True listening requires suspending judgment, evaluation, and approval. You must attempt to understand the frame of reference of the other person, their emotions, and their attitudes. Listening to understand is, indeed, a difficult but rewarding task!
COMMUNICATION MISTAKE 3: MESSAGE OVERLOAD
Listening to a rambling, unorganized person talking in circles is tedious and discouraging. Your partner will get tired and disconnect. State your point of view as briefly and succinctly as possible. Don’t try to convince your partner of the correctness of your views by smothering them with words.
Don’t let your conversation become repetitious, leading nowhere. Instead, choose your words with the intent of making your message as clear as possible. Avoid jargon and unnecessary information. Ask more open questions, and invite and welcome the ideas of your mate. By being brief, you will leave time and space for listening to the voice of your love.
COMMUNICATION MISTAKE 4: NOT CHECKING ASSUMPTIONS
Throughout the course of life, every person has built up some assumptions about self, others, and the world in general. The same is true with your relationship. We tend to filter messages through what we think the other is like and what we think the message is.
We bring our preconceptions to the moment of dialogue. When we filter the dialogue through such images, biases, and assumptions, distortion and separation result.
It is better to bring assumptions into the open to be examined and discussed. Ask more questions. Share your assumptions behind your conclusions. Check them out to make sure both of you are really agreeing or disagreeing with the same thing.
REMEMBER. . .
Effective communication is the glue that holds relationships together. As John Baldoni says: “It is the means by which we exchange ideas, learn from each other, and perhaps most importantly, connect to each other.”
Through effective communication, you can inform, persuade, influence, and inspire. It requires effort, concentration, and practice. Yet the rewards are enormous. It is up to you to lead by example, not only showing the way of effective communication but also inviting your partner to do the same.
SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS
What other communication mistakes have you experienced? How do you keep your communication effective? Share your comments with us.
P.S.
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=> Clarity on WHY the flames & love have cooled down.
=> Identify the #1 connection blocker in your relationship.
=> Practical step-by-step action plan to rekindle the love you had at first.
=> Realistic vision of what is possible for your relationship.