How Positivity Sparks Love
How can you keep your relationship fresh, alive, and passionate? By cultivating positivity! Today we are talking about this because almost every couple I work with is in a disheartening negative spiral and therefore in a funk of bad feelings.
The more negativity there is in a relationship, the more the feelings of love diminish. . .
Not surprisingly, eventually I hear: “I still love him/her, but I”m not “in love” anymore. . .
The reality is that unless a couple goes back to positivity, the negative spiral will only deepen and end up destroying their love.
But here lies the problem: How do you go back to positivity when you don’t feel like being positive and can’t see how or who should take the first step?
You see, your mindset affects your perceptions, reactions, and actions. So, if your mindset is negative, you see mostly what the other does that is negative, and your perceive your relationship as negative.
On the other hand, if you start forcing your brain to look for positives, and start taking positive actions, positive feelings will more likely follow.
What’s Positivity?
It is the practice of being or tendency to be positive or optimistic in attitude and in life.
Usually that is way easier said than done.
Especially difficult to practice in your relationship if you’ve gone through difficult times or things.
Tips on how to be positive in love
Focus on the good: Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects of your relationship, focus on the good. Think about the things you love about your partner. Remember your positive experiences together. Visualize good moments.
Practice gratitude: Express gratitude for your partner and the things they do for you. Make it a habit to express at least 3 things you appreciate about your partner every day. It doesn’t matter how small. But be specific.
Have conversations that connect: Open and honest communication is essential for maintaining a positive relationship. But it’s important to communicate not only about problems, complaints, and conflicts, but to have conversations about your thoughts and feelings about many subjects (like you do with friends), and to listen to what the other can share.
Be supportive: Be there for each other during tough times and celebrate each other's successes. Both about your individual life and work, and when life throws you a curve that brings hurt and difficulties.
Focus on solutions, not problems: Remember you are on the same team. You have to identify problems, but don’t dwell on the problem so much that you can’t see solutions. Work together to overcome challenges and find ways to improve your relationship.
Be forgiving: No relationship is perfect, and mistakes will happen. Practicing forgiveness of yourself and the other can help you move past conflicts and maintain a positive outlook on your relationship.
Take care of yourself: Essential for maintaining a positive outlook on life and your relationship. Make sure you're getting enough sleep, eating well, and doing activities that bring you joy. Happiness comes from the inside out.
Being positive in love takes effort, but the rewards are well worth it.
P.S.
If you want to explore how to get out of negativity in your relationship, SCHEDULE A CALL directly in Dr. Ada’s calendar.